Scared of Interracial DATING???

     

 
  Starting a conversation about race is not always the easiest thing to do. Recently, one of my friends told me that they had to deal with something that had been extremely challenging for them. Telling his mom that  he was in love with a white woman, he is black by the way.  To clarify, his mom is not racist and has never exhibited any of those behaviors. However, she has intimated that she might be a little disappointed if he did bring home a woman who was not black. It wasn’t what she said exactly, it was more of what she didn’t say. For the record, his mom is a woman of many words to contextualize this, her silence when jokingly asked about her son dating a white girl hypothetically was louder than her speaking. I remember ease dropping on a conversation between her and his dad and she jokingly said “he could even bring home a white girl” but then she said, “let me not say that too loud”. It was obvious to me then that his mom felt uncomfortable with the idea of him dating or marrying a white woman as if it were lessening her expectations of him in a relationship. To poke the bear, his girlfriend is a white as they come and he loves it! Thanks to her he now has seen all episodes of “Grace”, “Friends” and “Seinfeld”!

      He and his girlfriend exchange cultural ideas, she embraces who she is and makes no apologies for it!  I never thought in a million years that that my "Afrocentric" friend would fall in love with a "Valley Girl" but she obviously met all of the qualities exhibited though his own values, values taught to him by his own mother. Funny story of how they met, He use to love the Caramel Frappuccino at Starbucks and was a regular there, his girlfriend a then Starbucks employee seem to have caught his eye. He admitted to not pursuing her because of his own inhibitions. As he would often go in to pick up his Frap, she seemed to be the one who would always make his drink, one day she put her phone number on the drink and the rest is history. Until recently, race never seemed to be an issue for them, but it wasn’t until he thought about what his mother would say of him bringing home a white woman?  All of this got me thinking about how far America has come off the heels of a time where my black friend and his white girlfriend would be using separate entrances, her the front and him the back. Now they get to enter into the same entrance and he still feels a slight unsettling about their relationship, not because he doesn't love her, but because of the systemic and moral hardships, interracial couples have faced. America is possibly the most progressive that it has ever been since Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 that freed the slaves.  As hard as it maybe to know that his mom may not approve of him dating a white girl, there is a segment of the population who does share her sentiments. So much that prolific Civil Rights Activist Mildred Loving railed against a horrible ban on interracial marriage via a famed Supreme Court ruling that had nationwide implications in 1967.

        A ban that would obstruct interracial couples from marrying. The obstructions on interracial dating have been a deficiency within our society for as long as people have been allowed to date inter-racially. To specify this segment, 20% percent of Americans object to the idea of interracial dating and according to a new poll this week from YouGov “the survey of U.S. adults asked about the “moral acceptability of various behaviors” regardless of the legality of the action; one of those behaviors was interracial marriage”. Although it is a small segment of the population, the ideology does not seem to die. There are two sides to this I tried to approach when trying to understand these deep rooted sentiments, is this preferential or racist? To reiterate his mother has never exhibited racist behaviors or ideologies  has always shown equality among all diversities. His theory is that his mom might actually prefer him dating a black woman because that is her idea of him being in a relationship, a racist would object on the premise of bigotry, exerting ones race as superior. Although parents may have an idea of whom they would like you to date, especially when you are a minority, you just have to tell them to shut the hell up in your head and date who you want! This country is based on the blending of culture and race- their wedding is in the fall!

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