All the Desperate Ladies!!!

       Beyonce made matrimony history by chanting "All the Single Ladies", but I don't think she meant all the single and desperate ones. Here's my issue with women these days, they say they want a good man, but settle for the mediocre ones. You know the one's that say they'll marry you, but in ten years and you've been together for five, or the ones who bring in little income, but still manage to ask you for money for gas. Yes, that was not who Beyonce was referring too. Let me help you ladies, there are  some really good men out there who are actually above the equator line of average, but why would they settle for a woman who projects dependency, low self-esteem and suffers from the "I desperately need a husband to fix my life" nationwide epidemic.

       Be it harsh, but take it in love, no decent man is seeking after a woman who is not going to advance, improve and edify his life-unless He's looking for a one night stand. If you think by offering him sex that you've somehow locked him into your chambers of love- you're sadly mistaken. The first thing to acknowledge is having your own life, before you even consider becoming someones wife. What does your savings account look like, or how about your credit score? Are you pursuing any business ventures? What was the last book you read? Please don't let it be a Zane novel. See yourself as the smart, gifted and beautiful woman you are. Women who give off single and desperate are usually women who start off with good intentions. Those intentions usually involve a fairy tale of the perfect life including a husband, children and a white picket fence. Instead they got Jody from "Baby Boy" some cheap patio furniture and a pipe dream from a guy with a gold tooth. As comical as that might sound, it's someones reality. So how can a woman get over her desperation? After all there's nothing wrong with wanting the right person to find you. It only becomes a burden when a woman obsesses over it, when you are totally consumed with the idea of marriage and willing to compromise your values to wed. That my friend is desperation to the 12th power! 

      Now that we've dealt the thirst of wanting to be married. Let's remedy how you can create a healthy desire for marriage without being obsessive. Acknowledge that you are a completed individual without the need for marriage- marriage is not life or death.You can live a perfect and healthy life even if you don't get married. Often times people wont deal with the reality that marriage might not be in the cards for them, but that doesn't discount you from being the best you that you can be. Take a lesson from the Army and be ALL THAT YOU CAN BE!  Life owes you nothing, but you'll have to pay into it if you want to get something out it, you know kind of like your 401k. Let's redirect the mindset of needing a man to validate you, men can see and smell desperation from miles away and when they do, they turn the other way.

     In summary,  If you want to attract a man who has something going on for himself, try having something going on for yourself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that people don't go through real life crisis and at times will need help to make it through, I am saying make a decision to conquer the feeling of needing someone and make the decision of wanting to be with someone rather than needing to be with them. It's a natural thing to desire love, the key is to not become overwhelmed with a sense of urgency that warrens you to lose your self-respect. So remember even if he doesn't decide to "put a ring on it", you've still got your health!

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